wake me when it's over
by thedeadwriting
Summary: Negan wouldn't be the first bad person I'd come across since the beginning of the end. The dead weren't the only monsters the new world created, and anyone would be dumb to think otherwise. Negan/OC.
1. The sanctuary

**Disclaimer- this story is based off of the show and comics of the walking dead, it includes characters created by Robert Kirkman's aswell as my ones made by myself. I do not claim any ownership over existing characters or the show itself.**

 **Just thought I'd quickly say, this is my first time attempting to write a fic so I'll say a sorry in advance:). I've always loved the show and this is a story I've been wanting to write for a while but I've never had the guts to ever actually post. Please comment and let me know what you think, thank you for reading:)**

I'd been been doing what I had to do to survive. Everyday since I got here I've kept my head down, not muttering a word to anyone unless it was completely necessary. I keep thinking it's best to not share my opinion or talk to anyone too much because what's the point? what's the point in learning names?, sharing thoughts, letting them in? I stopped doing that a long time ago.

I know I'm strong, put me outside the fences and I will stay alive, I can fight the dead, that's not the main fight for me. The fight is to continue on when I've lost so much, lost the person i was before the world went to shit, lost everything. I was 18 when the world started to manifest into what it is now, I'm probably about 20, but who knows? I stopped counting the days. Whenever I come across new people, I always tell them I'm older, not wanting them to underestimate me. I'm what's kept me alive this long, nothing or no one else.

It's been three weeks since I stumbled across this place. I soon found out it's called the sanctuary which I find ironic because no place can be a sanctuary anymore, it's only a matter of time before the dead wonder in and destroy everything in their path. It's full of people who call themselves the saviours. My first thought was that these people are completely delusional. The sanctuary is nothing more than an old factory, with tall fences, defiantly not a home, not to me at least.

I contribute and do my part. I was put on kitchen duty the first day I got here which annoyed the hell out me because I'd survived since the beginning, out there and yet I'm subject to degrading shit like this, cooking and cleaning. I thought I'd made it clear when I arrived that I'm capable of more due to the fact that I was alone and alive but I was told I'll have my chance to prove myself. I decided to do as told and wait for the time to show my ability to these jerks. I've seen women on the fences and going out on runs so I assumed at some point, I will get to do what I want to.

How this place was run was explained to me basically as soon as I walked in, there is a system. You work for your points and then use them to get what you need. I've been earning my own points to get myself the essentials as well as following a set of rules, which I've gotta always follow unless I want to be punished. It's crazy to think a community is run on a system even in the end of the world but from what I've seen so far, it works and it was all enforced by a man named Negan.

Despite living in the place run by this Negan, I've only seen him on the few occasions. Even when I first come here he only glossed his eyes over my small figure for a few seconds, turned to some other guy called Simon, uttered a few words in his ear and then left. He probably said something about the displeasing view of my appearance. Being on the road by myself, I hardly looked presentable for first meetings. Dressed in old jeans, discoloured and ripped. A blood stained tank top hidden by a black bomber jacket I'd found in an abounded store along with my boots which were visibly worn down the bone. My long, matted Curly red hair pulled back into a pony tail, with the shorter strands slicked back by the product of grease and sweat. Luckily the top of my grubby hair was hidden by my cap. I hated how the sun only made by mane more vibrant and made my freckles stand out against my pale skin which was, and always is, slightly reddened by the sun. Most people I come across seem to get a golden tan from being outside all day with the sun having us at it's mercy, but not me. People used to say I was lucky because I was the 'good looking type of redhead' if anything I took that more as an insult. I always hated my features, not that it matters now but still, in the presence of someone as intimidating as this Negan, I was self conscious, a feeling that I hadn't experienced since before the new world when my biggest worry was if the guy I had my eye on knew I existed.

The only other time I catch a glimpse of him is when he is strutting around with his weapon of choice hanging loosely on his shoulder which always gets on my last nerve because I can tell he thinks he is the biggest dipshit in this place, which I guess he is because he does run it. It didn't take me long to realise no one around here disobeys him. I listen to the gossip in the kitchen, the women talk about his bat called Lucille and how Negan uses it to bash in the skulls of his victims. Whether that's true or not I don't know but the respect everyone has for him, kneeling whenever he passes, makes me believe that not only is he a madman but also a huge asshole. It wouldn't surprise me if it were true, Negan wouldn't be the first bad person I'd come across since the beginning of the end. The dead weren't the only monsters the new world created, and anyone would be dumb to think otherwise.


	2. First encounters

My day started out the same as the others. I woke up to the sound of my watch bleeping at 6am, letting me know it was time to wake and leave my little room I had earned myself. I sat up on the edge on the hard mattress which made me think i may aswell be sleeping on a plank of wood as I took it my surroundings. It's not by any means anything special, the walls are a dull grey colour, there are no windows so no daylight can penetrate the dark corners, the damp smell which lingers everywhere over the sanctuary also invaded my room but luckily I'm used it it by now. There is barely enough room for a bed, this thought caused my mind to flash back to when I first got here and had to sleep outside or on the stairs leading to the main compound for 2 weeks before I had enough points to get this room, I guess my little room was something to be proud of and I allowed myself a little smile for my hard work in the kitchen.

I was sitting, getting lost in my head when I remembered something that was made clear to me by Simon. He told me that I can never be late for a shift and if I was, there would be consequences. I assumed he was tying to enforce his authority over me due to the close proximity he spoke to me in along with the specs of spit he managed to wash my face with in the process. Not wanting to get on his bad side I quickly drag myself off the bed, pull the jeans up that I hung over the chair the night before. Reaching for my dirty black tank top I throw it on, grabbing my black jacket and tying up my boots in a matter of seconds. After the 3 weeks I've been here I've only managed to gather enough points to purchase this little room and rations of food and water. I figured it would be another couple of weeks before I could get some new clothes. Although, last night I did manage to clean my clothes in the shower room so that they aren't too grimy for a days work in the kitchen.

I don't even want to think about how hideous I must look, realising I'd been caring much more about my appearance since I've been in the sanctuary. My thoughts quickly flicked to the lead saviour who always seems to have different clothes on every time I see him, not to forget his perfectly slicked back hair, I assume he uses gel to get his prestige look. Not wanting to think about the mysterious man any longer, I pull my thick hair back into a lose low pony tail, allowing the curly departed strands at the front to hang in my face, covering my eyes, and finally place my cap on before exiting my room ready to start the day.

Waking through the sanctuary in the morning was my favourite part of the day mainly because it meant my antisocial self didn't have to talk to anyone. I can just sneakily walk to the kitchen without being seen. Looking to the lower levels of the compound, the first signs of people getting up to start their day appeared. I begin to wonder what job each of these individuals had how they earn their points. Without any warning i'm ripped from my thoughts as I hit a hard wall that I hadn't remembered being there on my previous journey to the kitchen. I must've hit it pretty hard as I come crashing down onto the floor. It took me no longer than a second to realise that it wasn't a wall but in fact a tall figure when the sound of a deep, unfamiliar voice helped me realise what had just happened.

"Shit! what in the fucking fuck"

Blurted out the voice that I didn't recognise and I knew I hadn't heard before but I took a guess as to who it belonged to. As I raised my eyes and looked up from underneath my cap my heart stopped as I set my sights on the bat feared by so many for the first time. As it presented itself to me, I couldn't help but take in every detail, there were thick layers of barbed wire covering the barrel of the bat. The wires consumed the end of the weapon, covering the small dents in the wood, I assumed these disfigurements had been caused by the hardship of mutilating the dead. I would've thought the wire would be covered in muck, but not Lucille. Each spike of wire was completely clear of any gunk that would've clung to it. A warning sign flickered in my head when I noted just how much damage this bat could do with just one blow.

Becoming more uncomfortable at this thought I quickly diverting my site to a pair of black boots, dragging my eyes up grey trousers which were held up securely with a thin brownish belt. My eyes continued their travels as they caught a glimpse of the bottom of a leather jacket. I reroute vision not wanting to confirm my suspicions as to who I stupidly bumped into. I began to panic, feeling my heart beat rapidly as I attempted to gather myself up from the floor but before having my chance to get up, a large hand reached out towards me. I hesitated to take it, too busy contemplating all the ways in which I will be killed for being such a clumsy idiot.

"You just fucking ran into my chest, almost knocked me flat on my fucking ass and now you won't take my hand? How fucking rude of you".

My eyes widened with sudden shock at his words, thinking that I was surely going to get punished for knocking into the man who I suspected was before me. People got on their knee when he was present and here I was, walking straight into him like the fool I am. I raised my eyes to his face for my first look of who I knew by this point I knew was Negan. Much to my surprise, and relief, I realised his comment wasn't filled with anger, but something else I was unsure of. He was most defiantly smiling, flashing his perfectly aligned pearly whites, I instantly notice how attractive he is as his salt and peppered beard covered the bottom half of his face, still failing to hide the dimples which were apparent on each cheek, softening his features. As our eyes met, I'm locked in to his captivating stare. I open my mouth attempting to provide some kind of response but I fail, unable to redeem myself in my current state.

"Now I know at first look, my face leaves women at a standstill. I understand I really do, but I'd sure as fucking hell appreciate it if you take my hand before I change my mind"

Without a second thought I reached out for his hand not wanting to fuel his annoyance even further. The skin on skin contact caused my senses to go into overdrive followed by a tingling sensation to thrive throughout my body, from the point of contact to my toes. His hand was so large in comparison to mine, swallowing it whole. With one smooth motion I was effortlessly lifted to my feet, clearly showing how much strength Negan had. He towered over me, bearing in mind I'm only 5ft3 and he was clearly over 6ft. Whilst attempting to breath, I realised it was much more difficult than I had mentally conceived due to how close Negan was to me. Despite my lack of breath, being so close allowed me to reach the conclusion that despite being much older than myself, I found myself undeniably attracted to this man, something that hadn't even crossed my mind before now. I finally managed to regain functioning of my speech, letting out the best response I could think of as my body is overwhelmed by the entire situation.

"I-uh- I'm sorry" I stutter "I wasn't paying attention to were I was going".

Instantly dropping my eyes from his in the hope that the break of eye contact would lead to me regaining control of my body and mind. This didn't stop his eyes from bearing into the top of my head. After a few moments of silence, I had forgotten my hand was still in his until he lifted it, parting our touch temporarily. He passed Lucille to the hand just in mine, which instantly led to a familiar quiver of fear to return as I believed this was about to take a sinister turn. Although he proved my concerns wrong as he raised his other hand engulfed in a black leather glove to my chin lifting my head up in the process forcing my brown eyes to meet with his once again. The cool leather of the glove sent chills down my back, apparently leaving me without the ability to speak, which is appearing to be a recurring theme when locked under his gaze. Nothing of what is happening makes sense as I know nothing of Negan yet I am infatuated by his touch.

He leaned in even closer, filling every possible bit of air space left between us until I could feel his hot breath on my face. Tightening his grip on my chin,

"don't you be fucking sorry doll, I've heard about you in the kitchen, working your pretty little ass off. I've been waiting for the chance to talk to you. Don't think I haven't realised just how beautiful you are" he whispered in a low, gravelly voice as the corner of his lips curled allowing a small smirk to appear.

If I wasn't holding my breath before that moment I defiantly was now, my whole body froze as he managed to deepen his stare into my eyes even further making me question the stability of my knees. After what seemed like an eternity Negan abruptly dropped his had from my chin, reverted his eyes ahead of me as he brushed past me swiftly swinging Lucille onto his shoulder. He carried on down the walkway without even looking back, clearly not faced at all by our first encounter. I was glad he removed himself when he did otherwise he would've seen my pale cheeks turn a harsh shade of red which for the first time wasn't because of the sun.


	3. Kitchen duty

My morning continued like any other. Once finally arriving at the kitchen, I started my normal routine. Placing the blue apron over my head and proparing the ingredients for today's meal. I acted as if everything was normal, like I hadn't just been swept completely off my feet, quite literally.

How could I let myself get into such a state over a series of small touches accompanied by some empty compliments. He probably called countless women beautiful, i'm aware of how I look. There's nothing beautiful about me, he probably said it for his own amusement. I'd worked so hard building up this solid, thick wall of mine, not letting anyone through so why was I so dumbfounded by this guy who means nothing to me. Getting frustrated with myself I was glad when Karen, a woman who runs the kitchen and who I've become fond of calls me over,

"Good morning (Y/N), didn't even notice you come in today, have you been here the whole time?". She asked with a softness and honesty to her voice which I suppose had led to me taking a liking towards this woman.

"Erm yeah- sorry I forgot to check in, was in a rush to earn some points" I said with an enthusiastic smile, not wanting her to know the reason I had forgot to follow protocol was because I was too busy thinking about someone who will probably never think about me again.

"No worries hun, why don't you get yourself signed in"

With a small nod I walked to the counter in which the register hung over in an attempt to get back into the norm. My eyes look over to the lumpy mess cooking beside me which had been our first meal of the day since I got here. I wondered if I could sneakily grab my own ration before everyone else today so I didn't have to get what was left over from scraping the bottom of the pot. I dismissed the idea when I heard the beginnings of conversation,

"so I was speaking to amber last night" spoke the voice next to me which belonged to a pretty girl who appeared to be a bit younger than myself, I think her name is Stacey. "She told me some stuff about Negan" she continued. Stacey's characteristics contrasted mine completely, her short brown hair sat evenly on her shoulders, complementing her bronzed skin. She was taller than myself but by no means more capable. Her only use of a knife is to cut the bread, she'd have no chance outside these walls.

"Oh my god, you have to spill the beans" replied one of the other women who was stirring a wooden spoon in the pot filled with porridge.

I couldn't decide whether I wanted to listen in on this conversation, I know I'm not one for gossip and I don't usually purposely overhear this type of talk but upon hearing his name, my feet decided to stay planted where they were, making the decision for me.

"Ok so, she told me that after she was called into his room, and got up to the usual". She emphasised the last word and then giggled before she went on. The usual? Before I had time to guess what that might be Stacey was already moving on. "She ended up you know, sleeping over".

"Why would she do that?! She knows no one stays the night with Negan". Exclaimed the other women.

No one stays the night with Negan, who is this guy?

"I know that Mandy" Stacey remarked sarcastically. Revealing the other gossipers name in the process. "anyway she said that he woke up this morning and was so livid with her because he told her to leave before he fell asleep, apparently he pushed her out the room and told her she would be punished" explained Stacey.

"I bet she ran her spoiled ass back to the rest of his preppy cheerleaders" commented Mandy, smirking as she said it, clearly happy with her remark.

I realised why I don't pay attention to this kind of chatter, the women got so engrossed with it like it it was the only thing that mattered. I considered turning away but then I thought I knew nothing about Negan and after this mornings events, I was intrigued to know more so I fumbled with some papers in front of me, to seem as though I was busy with something.

"I can't believe you just said that Mandy!" said Stacey, her pitch higher than before as both women laughed.

"I mean don't get me wrong, I defiantly would be a part of he's special posse. I wouldn't have to spend so much time with you" Mandy defended herself with a small chuckle. "plus I'd get to get up close and personal with the almighty saviour". They both sniggered and Stacey nudged Mandy's shoulder and she walked behind her to gather some more oats for the porridge.

"yeah you're right" she shared, with a smile to herself. "Amber said she can't kiss him on the lips though so have fun with that".

"it's alright" Mandy paused. "I'm sure she kisses him else where".

My hands lost grip on the register I was lifting to clip back onto the board as Mandy made her comment. It hit the counter with a loud crash causing both women to snap their heads in my direction trying to find the source of the commotion. They narrowed their eyes in my direction clearly frustrated at my interruption.

"shit" I said a little louder than I anticipated. "sorry my hands are sweaty". I lifted my hands up in front of me, removing the risk of causing any more trouble and drawing more attention to myself.

They looked back at me, I wanted to role my eyes at the disgust written over both of their faces, they were acting as if it was such a crime to sweat. Then again sweating must be something foreign to women in the sanctuary like Stacey and Mandy. Their idea of hard work is lifting and closing the the lid of a pot.

With that I quickly pin the register up on the board and shuffled back to where I'd come from, turning the taps on ready to wash some plates. The sound of the water hitting the bottom surface of the sink drowned the voices of those around me allowing me to run the information I had just received over in my head. Trying my best to avoid Mandy's last comment, I didn't want to think about what she'd said, becoming unsure as to why that specific thought bothered me so much.

Was Amber Negan's partner? That doesn't make sense to me because surely if she was, she would be able to sleep next to him without being punished. She couldn't even kiss him for christ's sake. Then again, she might not be because Mandy basically said there were other 'preppy cheerleaders'. It came to no surprise to me that Negan had his own little posse. I can't deny that he is a charming, good looking man, anyone can see that. But Mandy spoke as if you could join this group of his and get up to the 'usual' with him, I can take a guess as to what that it because of the context in which she spoke in, it wouldn't take a genius to work out what she was referring to.

Reaching forwards, I turned the tap off and grabbed the dishes, placing them in the water and allowing them to soak. Returning to my previous thoughts, I realised there are so many unanswered questions about Negan. A man who I had never gave this much thought to before this morning who was now creeping into every corner of my mind. I knew he was a bad man, at least that's what people said but I couldn't stop thinking about him. I wanted to know more, figuring I'm gonna have to listen to gossip more often.


	4. Attempting to defy

**Just wanted to thank those of you who are reading, this chapter is a little longer than the last. I didn't get as much time as I'd hoped to check over it so I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes.**

 **Hope you Enjoy:).**

Recently it had become a recurring theme for me to be the last one on shift, clearing and locking everything up which I didn't mind, It was peaceful. The silence reminded me of being alone and outside the fences, I really missed it. I would do anything to be going on runs and killing the dead. I'm capable of more than just cleaning, I've just gotta show it.

Walking through the dining hall, picking up any remaining plates as I finished my rounds. People hadn't even took the time to clean up after themselves. I swear to god I'm losing my patients in this shithole. Hearing footsteps approaching, I turned to the kitchen not wanting to converse with anyone. Taking my next step, the ground became less sturdy then it had been a step before. I begin to slip as my feet are pulled completely out from underneath me. I threw my arms out to the side, attempting to supply some kind of platform to land on. This only led to the remains of the dinner left on the plates to spring free, causing me to land in a pile of muck, fueling the fire which was already burning after a day of domestic labour. What the hell was someone doing around these parts this late, no one ever was. I turned wanting to set my eyes on the idiot who caused me to fall. The fire coursing throughout my body was suddenly put out, icing over at the sight of who I was seeing. It was Negan.

He let out a low chuckle, clearly amused at my inconvenience, causing cracks to form in ice in my veins, as a the returning fire began to spark through.

"We have to stop meeting like this doll" Negan said breaking the silence and keeping that annoying smile plastered on his face. He stood at the entrance of the dining hall with Lucille sitting loosely on his shoulder.

"No shit" I muttered, not as quietly as I'd hoped as I heard a small laugh escape his lips. I began to set up on my knees to gather the trays which had been dropped.

"Why don't you leave that where it is, you can clean that up after I'm gone" he commanded.

I halted my hands, thankful that I wore my cap today because I could hide away from Negan underneath it.

"Now, why don't we have a little chit-chat, hmm?" He asked, like I had a choice.

Setting Lucille down on a nearby table, he strutted toward me, hips pushed forward with every step he took. After a few long strides he was towering over me. He leaned forward mimicking his behaviour from our first encounter, reaching his hand in my direction offering his gracious help. I lifted my eyes from the floor, searching for his hoping that I'd get the message across that I wasn't going to let history repeat itself. I refused to allow my body to be as dramatic as it was the last time I placed my hand in his.

"As pleasing as you look on your knees" he said as his eyes looked down on me. He let out a sigh before he continued "I'm getting real tired of this bullshit where you make me wait when I'm offering you my gentlemanly service"

His obnoxious remark irritated me, I wanted to defy him so I stood in one quick motion completely ignoring his offer, keeping my eyes fixed on his as I pushed his hand aside.

"Well this is a different you. From the way you acted this morning, I assumed you were a giant fucking pussy. You barely spoke two fucking words to me".

I become frustrated at being reminded of how I had previously acted. I didn't want to be verbally bashed around by him for second longer, luckily I'm greeted by a brief rush of courage

"Maybe I only spoke two fucking words to you because you decided to plant your incredibly huge body in front of mine, confusing the hell out of me and knocking me straight on my ass" I shouted.

My hand instantly went to my mouth, all most as if I was trying to put the words back from where they had come from. Was I trying to get myself killed? what he had said was right, I was a pussy this morning but the cockiness of this man was driving me insane.

Negan closed in the air space between us, making me think he had a kink for invading people's personal space as it wouldn't be the first time he's face was inches from my own. He's eyes burned holes into mine as they become clouded and unreadable. My heart hinged in my chest and my throat dried up, making it impossible for me take a breath. I've really fucked up. Talking back clearly didn't sit well with him because I could tell he was behond pissed, just as I was sure he was going to grab Lucille and crack her down on my head, the muscles in he's face relaxed, forming he's signature smile allowing dimples to pierce into he's cheeks. The clouds parted in he's eyes, revealing a softer look

"I haven't caught your name yet" he revealed.

"It's (Y/N)" i told him without hesitation, deciding it was best that he knew.

"Well (Y/N), I'd say you've finally decided to grow some mother fucking balls"

I cocked my head to the side, knowing he was right but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of being aware of this.

"Have you not realised that maybe I just don't want to talk to you?" I fired back.

"Oh honey" he said stretching he's smile more from cheek to cheek. He flared his arms out to the side "everyone wants to talk to me".

"What ever you say Negan" I scoffed. I didn't know what he's limits were so I decided it was probably best not to get too sassy.

"You are fucking right!, now tell me (Y/N) do you like living in my sanctuary?" He asked looking around the dining hall for representation before glaring back at me.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Although I'd much prefer a job on the fences or on runs, that's where I should be" I declared seeing this as an opportunity to get my point across.

"You should be wherever the fuck me or my men tell you to be and if you were told to be in the kitchen, that's where you'll plant yourself, are we clear?".

"Crystal" I replied. The rage retuned, I wanted to punch this asshole in his perfect face. I'm having just about enough of this shit.

"Fun-fucking-tastic" he bellowed, emphasising every letter leaving his egotistical mouth.

I said nothing, holding in my feelings desperate to escape.

Negan set himself down on the the edge of a table nearby, crossing his legs as he lifted his finger and trailed it down my body.

"Those are the same clothes you wore when you first arrived here right? that's fucking gross" he remarked, clearly not bothered by the fact he just insulted me.

How in the hell did he remember what I wore when I first got here?. He didn't look at me for more than two seconds. He obviously thinks I'm disgusting. Becoming embarrassed, I dropped my head, hiding underneath my cap as I spoke my next words.

"I've been saving my points since I got here, I've just managed to buy a room and I haven't had anything to spare to buy some new clothes"

I then realised there's no reason for me to be ashamed, I put in a lot of work for my room, sorry if my clothes weren't up to your satisfaction. I become increasingly annoyed so I lifted my head, forgetting my previous shame and met his eyes, ready to challenge him as I continued.

"I am sorry if my appearance doesn't meet your expectations, but believe it or not I don't dress myself to please you or anyone else".

Negan raised his eyebrows and briefly set his tongue between his teeth. Rising from his sitting position he took a step in my direction, taking in my comment and I assume getting ready to rise to the challenge.

"Don't get your panties in a fucking twist, I'm not insulting you. It's still gross but baby, you are fucking sexy, the clothes you wearing won't change that fact".

I had been dealing with the situation so well before hand, not being the pussy I was earlier but he had just rose to another level. I had no control over the flare of red that rushed to my cheeks. My body clearly loved everything he had just said but I was confused, I looked a fucking mess and here Negan was calling me sexy. I don't think anyone's ever called me as sexy.

He was amused at my current state, a small smirk emerged on his face clearly proud of the reaction he'd managed to get out of me.

"Now I think you've got some cleaning up to do, so why don't you get back on your knees and get rid of that shit". He said lowering his eyes to the mess left on the floor.

I really didn't want to do as I was told, but I still hadn't recovered after his previous comment and I didn't want to piss him off so I listened and got back on my knees. Seeing that I had obeyed Negan turned on his heels, walking back over to retrieve Lucille.

"Oh and (Y/N), i'd much prefer if you were on your knees for the purpose of putting my dick in that pretty mouth of yours but please learn to keep your fucking feet on the ground so our only meetings don't consist of just this" he said looking over his shoulder at me and circling Lucille in my direction, I assumed he was referring to me being on the floor for the second time.

After holding me under his stare for a few moments, he flashed his signature smile for the millionth time and turned, heading for the exit.

"Until next time" he called out.

He was finally gone, the sound of his footsteps had disappeared leaving me in complete silence to comprehend what had just happened. I sat back, resting my elbows on my knees as I thought about what he had said. I knew Negan was the biggest douche bag around but his filthy mouth always leaves me flustered and intrequed. Do I really want there to be a next time?


	5. rulebreakers

**To anyone who's reading I'm sorry for the late update, I intended to update way earlier but I've had to study for exams, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I enjoyed writing it:)**

I dragged myself into the kitchen for my morning shift, more tired than I had been since I got here. I was so restless last night, hardly getting a wink of sleep. Since my interactions with Negan had increased, my mind was constantly on overdrive, struggling to keep itself under control, especially when I sleep. I'm fighting a constant battle between reality and what my body wants from Negan, having thoughts about him that even surprise me, no man has had this effect on me, yet I barely know him.

I was the first one to arrive in the kitchen, and I quickly started on breakfast. Only a few people come into the kitchen this early, often saviours who get food before they go on a early run, or mothers who come and get what they can for their children before everyone else eats it all. The first person to come in was a women who I recognised, she often arrived early and I sometimes notice her having a little girl who clings to her arm whenever she is here. She walked over to me to be served, she smiled but it didn't meet her tired eyes, she looked exhausted. I couldn't imagine what it must be like having to work to earn points and take care of a child. I gave her a sympathetic smile and handed her some food with a little more than I'm allowed to hand out. She gave me a small nod, appreciating what I had gave her.

Just as we were parting our gaze, three men stormed into the dining hall laughing and in conversation with eachother. They strutted over to were I was serving food and slammed their trays down in front of me. I hid my annoyance by keeping my head down, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to myself. The woman had took a step back to allow the men to collect their food first before she continued to get her drinks. I gave the men the amount they received every morning and they let out a huff of disapproval at what they had on their plates, what did they expect? We don't have much to work with here. The man who I served first turned to leave before he caught a glimpse of the women's much more filled tray of food.

"Boys, come over here and set your eyes on this" he said. The two other men surrounded the women, waiting to be enlightened with what he was talking about. The fear in the women's eyes was apparent as her tray shook in her unsteady hands. Thank god the little girl wasn't with her today.

The man lifted one hand from under his tray and pushed it into her chest, forcing her back a few steps. "And can you tell me why you have more of this shit on your plate than I do?". The women looked as if she was going to reply, her mouth opening but she only let out stutters of what she was trying to say.

All three men edged closer to her, backing her up against the near table and caging her in. She was clearly in a state of panic, the fear vibrating from her. No one said anything, the room was completely silent until the tray was forcefully slammed out of her hand and to the ground, the women let out a yelp as she threw her hands up in the air beside her head.

"It was me" I exclaimed. "I served her the food and gave her that amount" I couldn't let them do anything to her over something so silly as breakfast, she had someone to look over. "It was me" I repeated.

The situation was being made a much bigger deal than it was. All I did was give her a little extra food, I know she didn't have the points to cover it but who cares? She needed it.

The shorter of the three began to begin to speak "You think she's more important than us? We go out there and get this shit for you, I've seen her" he pointed to the women and stepped towards me before continuing. "She works in laundry and can't afford a meal like this, so your clearly breaking the rules, and that don't sit well with me and I know for sure rulebreakers don't sit well with Negan". He leaned against the counter which separated me and him. He was so close I could smell the liquor on his breath. I tried not to gag at the repulsive smell.

I stared back at him, unable to hide the fire beginning to burn within me. Just as I was about to justify myself a voice froze my vocal cords.

"And why is my name being spoken without me being present, no one better be talking fucking shit about me". Negan strode in, with a smaller blonde guy standing beside him who has scarred skin on one side of his face.

He pointed lucille at each of us standing before him. He was slightly leaned back, smirking whilst biting his bottom lip, his dimples displayed for everyone to see. God he was handsome even when he was scary.

"N-no of course not Negan" finally spoke the short, stumpy man who was in front of me. His cockiness was no where to be seen now his leader was here."This lady here broke your rules and gave more food to someone who I know can't cover it with the amount of points she earns". What an asshole, seriously why was this such a big deal.

All eyes turned to me but the only set I took note of were negans, his gaze was unreadable with familiar clouds forming in his eyes, removing any chance of me discovering how angry he was. I know there are rules but I didn't realise it was this serious. He didn't say anything but he's eyes remained fixated on mine, he clearly wanted a response.

"I didn't think it would be a problem, she has a child with her, I figured she could do with a tiny bit more" I sounded way less confident than I wanted to with my words barely escaping my mouth. Maybe I was more intimidated by Negan than I thought.

"You didn't think it would be a problem?" Repeating what I said slowly, breaking in between each word. He titled his head to the side and squinted his eyes as if he was trying to comprehend what I had said. I knew it wasn't a question which needed to be answered. He looked at me with his stormy gaze as he began to make his way towards me not moving his eyes from mine. With each one of his broad steps, I become smaller with the weight of my mistake. When he reached me he grabbed my arm, digging his fingers into my bicep so hard I knew there were be bruises. He began to drag me out from behind the counter and towards the exit of the dining hall, moving so fast I was almost tripping over my feet.

I locked eyes with the blonde disfigured man as I passed him, he looked as though he felt sorry for me but I was probably wrong.

"I think you need to understand how it works around here" Negan said, loud enough for everyone to hear but he looked straight ahead of him. His announcement drew my eyes from the man and I dropped them to the floor trying to compose myself for what was to come.


End file.
